We all know that if you “aren’t sure” of whether or not you’ve ever had an orgasm then you’ve never had one. They’re pretty unmistakable. This is pretty much only an issue for women. Teenage girls, really. It was never an issue for me.
The first time I had sex I did not have an orgasm. The boy was fumbling around a lot and it wasn’t much worth the time it took to put my clothes back on. However, since then, I pretty much always have an orgasm. Or three. Actually, I cum easily enough that fewer than three orgasms automatically puts you in the bad sex category.
The thing about BDSM is that the orgasms are so much more intense than the ones you get through regular sex. All of your sensations are heightened. There is a lot of delay for the submissive who usually has to ask for permission to cum. And is usually denied repeatedly before finally getting that well earned reward. And with all of that momentum, the explosion that occurs is something I could never have imagined prior to stepping into this world.
And after a while it leaves anything less feeling a little flat.
Yes, subspace is a tremendous part of the draw. For those of you who don’t know, which I’m guessing is a good percentage, subspace is the euphoric, centered state of mind that the submissive enters during a good session. It’s hard to fully explain although I tried in my previous post. Essentially it’s like being high on the best drug ever except that it can’t get you fired from your job if they do drug testing.
But beyond subspace there is more. There are the orgasms that make your old vanilla (i.e. run of the mill) orgasms seem, well, run of the mill. This is part of why it is so hard to go back. Because I’d happily take one orgasm in the form of a really exception BDSM evening over three or four of the other variety. If you want a very diluted idea of what I’m talking about here, next time you masturbate bring yourself right to the brink of orgasm six or seven times and then back off a little right before you cum. When you do finally allow yourself that release it’s going to be much more satisfying than if you had simply done the deed as quick as you could so that you could go about your day. (And then think about the fact that in BDSM it isn’t your own permission you’re waiting for. It’s someone else’s permission and you have no control over how long before you get it.) Don’t get me wrong, all orgasms are great.
But not all orgasms are equal.
(As always, don’t forget to check out my other blog at www.brookefarmer.com)